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What is Classed as a Healthy Relationship?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A healthy relationship <\/strong>is made up of the following characteristics:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Healthy relationships are inherently positive \u2013 children and young people should always feel respected, valued, supported and encouraged. They should also be free to make choices about how they act and what they say; they should not be controlled, coerced or manipulated into anything.<\/p>\n\n\n Benefits of healthy relationships include having a positive sense of wellbeing and experiencing less stress. You might also have more purpose to your life and increase your social development.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n There are four main reasons why it is important to teach children and young people about healthy relationships:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The research project Boys to Men<\/a> found that 49% of boys and 33% of girls aged 13-14 thought that hitting a partner would be \u2018okay\u2019 in at least one of twelve scenarios they were presented with. Lack of experience of healthy relationships, as well as peer group norms \u2013 adolescents in particular tend to be more accepting of relationship abuse, according to research<\/a> \u2013 leads to children and young people finding it difficult to judge behaviour as abusive. For example, they often view forms of sexual harassment as normal and even inevitable; they might also have been groomed to believe that a relationship is healthy.<\/p>\n\n\n A key study<\/a> showed that 75% of girls and 50% of boys aged 13-17 had experienced some form of emotional relationship abuse, with 25% of girls and 18% of boys experiencing physical abuse, and 1 in 3 girls and 16% of boys experiencing sexual abuse. The transition from childhood to adulthood, with all its associated cognitive and physical changes, is a particularly vulnerable time of life. Barnardo\u2019s<\/a> has also found that 1 in 6 children experience sexual abuse before their 18th<\/sup> birthday. These negative experiences can have serious outcomes, including depression, decreased cognitive ability, serious harm or suicide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Studies<\/a> have found that young people want to be taught about the emotional aspects of relationships. It is not enough to have sex education alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If children are taught about healthy relationships early on, this could decrease the likelihood of them staying in unhealthy or abusive relationships later. In turn, the high levels of domestic abuse in adults might drop \u2013 in 2019-2020, 2.3 million adults were victims of this sort of abuse<\/a>. Moreover, healthy relationships can impact lives positively by improving your health, lengthening your life, and advancing your academic career.<\/p>\n\n\n Therefore, giving children and young people the right advice, teaching them healthy attitudes and behaviours, and training them to identify and deal with unhealthy relationships is vital.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Including healthy relationships as part of school curriculum has been shown<\/a> to be an effective preventative measure against future relationship abuse. By talking about relationships, you also provide children with the opportunity to open up about any experiences of abuse \u2013 domestic or otherwise \u2013 and get them help to deal with this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where healthy relationships are inherently positive, unhealthy relationships are inherently negative; they are based around an imbalance of power and control. There is a lack of respect; you might be forced or coerced into doing things that you aren\u2019t comfortable with, or behaving in a certain way. You might feel that you aren\u2019t good enough, and experience anxiety, depression, or physical health symptoms such as headaches (Woman\u2019s Aid, 2015).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unhealthy behaviours might start off seeming relatively insignificant, but it is important to recognise them because they are often symptomatic of a person trying to exert power and control over you. <\/strong>This could lead to a categorically abusive relationship<\/strong> as they attempt to gain more and more control. This type of relationship involves physical abuse (hitting, slapping, pushing or choking), threats and insults, humiliation, gaslighting, and regularly forcing you to do things you don\u2019t want to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Abusive or unhealthy relationships involving children are often exploitative. Exploitation is a complex issue \u2013 training will help you to better understand why it happens, who is at risk, and what you can do to help.<\/p>\n\n\n Our range of safeguarding training courses<\/a> aim to provide you with the required knowledge to carry out your work whilst meeting safeguarding training requirements. Take a look at our course library<\/a> where you\u2019ll find everything from Child Sexual Exploitation Awareness<\/a> to Harmful Sexual Behaviour in Schools<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n We have put together 7 tips for teaching healthy relationships in the classroom. These are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Boundaries help to protect children and young people from abuse, as well as helping them build healthy relationships that meet their needs and values. Get children to think about their personal views so they can identify what their boundaries are. In early years, this might be talking about their likes and dislikes in general. For older teenagers it might involve a private reflection activity around their views on sex and when this should or shouldn\u2019t happen in a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can then practise articulating boundaries clearly. Young children should be taught that it\u2019s OK to say no if they don\u2019t want to do something \u2013 for example, hug a family member or join in with an activity \u2013 and that you will respect this. Older children could roleplay scenarios, with one of them reacting when the other oversteps their boundaries. For example, if the other person tries to make fun of them, they should tell them to stop, and if they don\u2019t, they should walk away and tell them that they don\u2019t want to talk while they\u2019re doing that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember to note that both people in a relationship have their own boundaries that need to be respected; students should be able to see it from both sides.<\/p>\n\n\n If children can identify how they would like to be treated and their rights in a relationship, this will make them more alert to unhealthy relationships that don\u2019t meet these criteria. They could make a list of what they expect, with some scaffolding to prompt them. For example, being treated fairly, being respected and supported, being able to say no at any time (even if they\u2019ve said yes before), and being free from violence and abuse are good expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You could also practise recognising that someone is being exploited or abused, and talk about what to do in these situations. Useful resources that include different red-flag scenarios are the NSPCC<\/a> and Love Is Respect<\/a> websites. Having group discussions about the healthiness of relationships in books or films could also be an effective teaching tool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many people say that communication is key to a healthy relationship. Effective communication involves being able to express your thoughts and feelings, but also being able to listen, understand other people\u2019s points of view, and compromise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Younger children (5-11 years old) should be helped to resolve conflicts; encourage them to think about how other people are affected by their actions. You could also practise expressing opinions in different ways; show them how changing your words can change how you make someone feel. For example, making statements with the words \u2018I\u2019 and \u2018we\u2019 rather than \u2018you\u2019 can make the other person feel less defensive.<\/p>\n\n\n Older children and young people could think about:<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is particularly important now that young people spend a large amount of time connecting with each other online.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It may be difficult for young people to know what is normal in terms of online behaviour, because some adults don\u2019t understand how technology is used, nor give them relevant guidance. For example, young people should be told that it\u2019s not normal or healthy to ask a partner to share their password to social media accounts with you, or to go through their messages to check who they\u2019ve been talking to. Other harassment that can occur through technology includes constant unwanted calls or texts, cyberbullying<\/a>, pressure to sext, and being monitored through social media.<\/p>\n\n\n Responses to digital abuse should not simply be to \u2018turn the phone off\u2019 or \u2018delete their account\u2019. It\u2019s much better to advise children to report abuse on the site, screenshot any upsetting messages to keep as evidence in case it escalates further, or to set their profiles to \u2018private\u2019 so that strangers can\u2019t see where they live or go to school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You could take our course in Online Safety & Harms<\/a> if it would help you to feel more confident in this area. You can also read our article: How Can You Keep Your Child Safe Online?<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stereotypes can lead to unhealthy relationship expectations and abuse \u2013 for example, if people are punished for not acting the way they\u2019re \u2018supposed\u2019 to. As a result, it\u2019s important that you avoid stereotyping from children\u2019s earliest years right the way through; embrace individuality, encourage boys and girls to play alongside each other, and always challenge gender stereotypes when you hear children repeating them. Adolescents might be particularly susceptible to stereotyping; try to make them aware of how this can be harmful and unhelpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Additionally, make it clear that unhealthy relationships and abuse can happen to \u2013 or be perpetrated by \u2013 anyone, regardless of their age, race, gender, sexual orientation or background. Accepting that this is true can help victims in all different situations to feel comfortable speaking out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have a look at Outspoken Education<\/a> for more tips about discussing stereotypes and other tricky topics to do with sex and relationships. You could signpost parents to this website to aid their conversations at home.<\/p>\n\n\n Make it clear that you\u2019re available to talk if anyone has a concern, but also signpost students to websites and helplines such as Childline<\/a> (0800 1111 \u2013 free to phone) and Stop It Now!<\/a> (0808 1000 900).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Children and young people should know that they will be listened to and not judged. They should access these resources – or talk to a teacher or other trusted adult – if they ever feel uncomfortable or concerned about a relationship. Spread the word amongst your colleagues so that they are also aware of the warning signs of unhealthy or abusive relationships, and the possible consequences that they can have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you think a child or young person is in immediate danger, phone the police on 999. If you are worried, but you don\u2019t think they are in immediate danger, follow your safeguarding policy. Talk to your school’s Designated Safeguarding Lead or contact your local child protection services (details will be on your local authority website). Unhealthy and abusive relationships are a child protection concern and should always be treated seriously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Relationships can have a huge impact on children and young people\u2019s lives; it\u2019s important to give them the tools they need to build healthy ones and recognise warning signs<\/em>. Teaching about healthy relationships could decrease the levels of child exploitation and domestic abuse, and improve your students\u2019 wellbeing and futures.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s important to give children the tools they need to build healthy relationships and recognise warning signs. Find tips for teaching these skills here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":41,"featured_media":50299,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[81,75,80],"class_list":["post-50213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safeguarding","tag-education","tag-safeguarding-children","tag-teachers-and-parents"],"acf":{"schema_disabled":false,"schema_properties_FAQPage_question_answer":null,"schema_properties_HowTo_howto_tools":null,"schema_properties_HowTo_howto_supplies":null,"schema_properties_HowTo_howto_steps":null,"schema_properties_WebPage_cssSelector":null,"schema_sameAs_repeater":null,"schema_custom_json_repeater":null,"schema_custom_json_override":false},"yoast_head":"\n\n
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\n\n\n\nWhy is it Important to Teach Children About Healthy Relationships?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Many of them do not understand what a healthy relationship is<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.highspeedtraining.co.uk\/hub\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/students-listening-in-classroom.jpeg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n2. They are just as likely, if not more likely, to experience abusive relationships as adults are<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
3. They want to learn about it<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
4. Understanding healthy relationships can impact the rest of their lives<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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\n\n\n\nWhat is Classed as an Unhealthy Relationship?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
In an unhealthy relationship, a child or young person might:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nAbusive Relationships<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/div>\nNeed Exploitation and Safeguarding Training?<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\n\n\nTips for Teaching Healthy Relationship Skills<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Talk about boundaries<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n2. Think about how you expect to be treated in a relationship<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
3. Teach them how to communicate effectively<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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4. Don’t forget digital abuse<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n5. Debunk stereotypes<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n6. Make sure they know where to go if they have problems<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
7. Report any concerns as usual<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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\n\n\n\nFurther Resources:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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