Discussions around consent can often overcomplicate it and suggest that it is a complex matter. However, the UK SAYS NO MORE<\/a> campaign notes that there are no grey areas when it comes to consent. Consent means agreeing to what\u2019s happening by choice and having the freedom and ability to make or change that choice. If that is not the case then consent has not been given and anything that occurs without consent is assault.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n Remember:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Navigating relationships can be complicated at any age however for children and young people, a lack of lived experiences, hormonal changes and age-appropriate immaturity can make it all the more confusing. When discussing consent it\u2019s important to help them understand that it isn\u2019t just about the law and what charges someone could face, it\u2019s about respecting each other\u2019s bodily autonomy and personal boundaries. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The rape culture pyramid<\/a> is a model that shows how the tolerance of \u2018low-level\u2019 behaviours can lead to violent and severe behaviours. At the top of the pyramid are crimes such as rape, sexual assault and druggling and at the bottom of the pyramid are behaviours such as rape jokes, unwanted touch and excusing behaviour as \u2018boys will be boys\u2019 or \u2018banter.\u2019 The pyramid highlights how when behaviours go unchallenged, perpetrators are emboldened to become more violent and extreme. What begins as \u2018boys being boys\u2019 can develop into increasingly misogynistic and violent views that put people at serious risk of assault.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n The behaviours at the top of the pyramid do not exist in a vacuum and can be linked to the justification of \u2018lower\u2019 behaviours. The \u2018low-level\u2019 behaviours that sit at the bottom of the pyramid are rooted in a lack of consent. Sexist views, objectification and rape jokes all seek to nonconsensually remove a person\u2019s bodily automony and reduce them to mere objects. When this behaviour is normalised, jokes go unchallenged and dangerous beliefs are excused as \u2018banter,\u2019 disrespecting an individual’s consent is justificated and indirectly encouraged. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Subsequently, teaching children and young people about consent addresses behaviour at the bottom of the pyramid before it can escalate to the severe crimes at the top of the pyramid. Conversations about consent matter because they teach children that they have bodily autonomy that must be respected. This empowers them to advocate for themselves and for others when their consent is being disrespected. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Conversations about consent are important for children and young people as they:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Talking to children and young people about consent can feel daunting but with the right tools it doesn\u2019t have to. Our wide range of CPD Courses for Teaching and Education<\/a> includes courses such as Harmful Sexual Behaviour in Schools<\/a> which can give you the skills and knowledge to confidently support the children and young people in your setting.<\/p><\/div>\n\n\n\n Approaching the topic of consent can feel intimidating, especially as it is likely to facilitate conversations on other topics such as sexual assault and harrasment. If you are facilitating these conversations with young children this may not feel age-appropriate, however it is important to highlight how disrespecting someone\u2019s consent is not only unacceptable but can lead to harmful and violent acts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As mentioned above, behaviours that disrespect a person\u2019s consent often sit at the bottom of the rape culture pyramid. When these behaviours are left unchallenged they can lead to severe violence. Therefore, the topic of consent must not be avoided and its far reaching consequences must be explored in a way that does not seek to scare children but does not shy away from the harm it can cause. <\/p>\n\n\n To talk to children about young people about consent you can follow these steps: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Children and young people must understand what consent actually is in order to understand its importance. <\/span>Consent is a clear, voluntary and enthusiastic agreement to engage in an activity<\/b>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The language that you use to explain consent will likely change depending on the age of the people you are talking to. For example, with children you may choose to approach consent from the angle of bodily autonomy so as not to focus on the topic of sex before they are ready. Through this lens you could use more relatable examples to help them understand the concept of consent. For example, you could explain to young children that whilst a lot of people like to have a hug when they are greeted, not everyone wants to be hugged. If someone says that they don\u2019t want a hug but they are hugged anyway, that person did not consent to that hug and their bodily autonomy was not respected. Framing consent in this way makes it more understandable for children and opens the door for further conversations as they get older.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n For young people you may choose to use more direct language and discuss consent in relation to sex and sexual activities. It would be short-sighted to think that children and young people are totally unaware of sex or are not engaging in sexual activities. As such, you must be open to having direct and age-appropriate conversations with young people about consent in this manner.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/div>\n There are many harmful myths surrounding consent that children and young people may pick up from TV, social media or the adults around them. If these misconceptions go unchallenged children and young people can end up with a warped perception of consent which may put them at risk of harm without realising.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Facts about consent that challenge common myths include:<\/span><\/p>\n Challenging myths about consent ensures that children and young people have an accurate understanding of what it is. It empowers them to challenge others and reiterates the importance of bodily autonomy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/div>\n The goal of talking about consent with children and young people should not be to scare them, however, not respecting someone\u2019s consent can have serious consequences that they should be made aware of.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/div>\n It might seem excessive to discuss rape in the same conversation as consent, however as the pyramid shows the normalisation of \u2018low-level\u2019 behaviours leads to incredibly violent behaviours. Moreover, when ignored consent is dismissed as \u2018boys being boys\u2019 or \u2018just banter\u2019 it diminishes the importance of consent, emboldening some to engage in increasingly violent behaviour. There is an undeniable pipeline between not respecting someone\u2019s consent and criminal violence which must be highlighted to reinforce the importance of consent.<\/span><\/p>\n When discussing consent it is also important to discuss the age of consent in the UK. The legal age of consent in the UK is 16. This is designed to protect young people from being taken advantage of by adults, not to get young people in trouble for having sex with one another. Anyone under the age of 13 is legally considered a child; <\/span>children have no capacity to give consent to any sexual activity.<\/b>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n As mentioned above the language that you use when discussing consent will likely change according to the age group that you are talking to. When talking to children, you may find that you only need to discuss sexual activities in passing and in order to make it clear that they cannot give consent to any kind of sexual activity. As such, you may decide to focus more on bodily autonomy than sex acts as that is more relatable to their day-to-day experiences.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Comparatively, when talking about consent with young people, you may find it necessary to discuss the legal age of consent in more detail as teenagers are more likely to engage in sexual activity. The prevalence of sexual activity among teens can make some feel pressured to do certain things in order to \u2018fit in\u2019 or because \u2018everyone is doing it.\u2019 Conversations around consent embolden young people to know that they should not be pressured into doing anything that they don\u2019t want to and can help them recognise when they are at risk of harm. Moreover, it helps them to identify when they are being coerced and when someone around them, such as an older teen or adult, is attempting to do something illegal.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n <\/div>\n Discussions around consent should be backed up with practical tools and guidance on what children and young people can do in the real world. Conversations about consent in the classroom are very different to how the topic may come up in their everyday life. As such, providing children and young people with practical tools can help them speak up for themselves and ensure their consent is respected.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Teaching children and young people phrases that respect their consent and the consent of others ensures that they have the language to communicate when they are uncomfortable with something and to check in with others. These phrases may include:<\/span><\/p>\n Practical tools also include guidance on who to turn to. If you are a teacher or work with children in a professional capacity you are likely to have a <\/span>Designated Safeguarding Lead<\/span><\/a> (DSL) and robust procedures in place to safeguard children. Children and young people should clearly know who in their setting they can turn to for advice or to talk to about any concerns. If you are a parent it is important to encourage your child to be open and honest and reassure them that they will not get in trouble for talking to you about consent.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/div>\n Creating a safe space encourages children and young people to ask questions without fear of judgement. It also ensures that you have someone trustworthy to turn to should something happen or they feel unsafe. Consent should be an ongoing conversation not one dedicated lesson a term or one awkward conversation around the family dining table. Making consent an ongoing conversation enables children and young people to recognise the different ways it can show up in their life and help them adapt to different situations, rather than having the idea that consent is a fixed notion that is only applicable in set situations.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n To encourage open conversations:<\/span><\/p>\n Consent is not always a straight forward \u2018yes\u2019 or \u2018no\u2019 and children and young people must be taught how to respect one another\u2019s consent and set their own boundaries. Teaching children and young people about consent from an early age helps them to understand what a healthy relationship is. This helps to keep them safe and better recognise potentially harmful people and situations. Conversations around consent should be honest and open whilst exploring the real world harm that disrespecting someone\u2019s consent can cause.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Ensuring that young people understand consent from an early age helps to protect them. Find advice on how you can facilitate these conversations here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":72,"featured_media":83237,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[81,75,80],"class_list":["post-83230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-safeguarding","tag-education","tag-safeguarding-children","tag-teachers-and-parents"],"acf":{"schema_disabled":false,"schema_properties_FAQPage_question_answer":null,"schema_properties_HowTo_howto_tools":null,"schema_properties_HowTo_howto_supplies":null,"schema_properties_HowTo_howto_steps":null,"schema_properties_WebPage_cssSelector":null,"schema_sameAs_repeater":null,"schema_custom_json_repeater":null,"schema_custom_json_override":false},"hub":{"article_type":"Article","read_time":"6","enable_quiz":false,"quiz_id":null,"quiz_heading":"","quiz_subtext":"","quiz_markup":"","enable_advert":true,"advert":{"id":34004,"url":"https:\/\/www.highspeedtraining.co.uk\/courses\/education\/","desktop_src":"https:\/\/www.highspeedtraining.co.uk\/hub\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/HST_CPDTeachingEducation.png","mobile_src":"https:\/\/www.highspeedtraining.co.uk\/hub\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/HST_CPDTeachingEducation_mobile.png","alt":""},"author":{"id":72,"display_name":"Rachel Gordon","slug":"rachelgordon","description":"Rachel is a Junior Copywriter at High Speed Training with extensive experience in the education and independent hospitality sector. Having worked with students to improve their Maths and English skills, Rachel has an in-depth understanding of different educational needs. She has also worked in the independent hospitality industry, working to advocate for and raise awareness of the independent food and drink businesses at the heart of local communities. Rachel is passionate about providing people with useful information to support their personal and professional development.","active":true,"circle_image":"https:\/\/www.highspeedtraining.co.uk\/hub\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/rachel-hub-colour.png","thumb_image":"https:\/\/www.highspeedtraining.co.uk\/hub\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/rachel-bw.png","favourite_post":null}},"yoast_head":"\n![\"Girl](\"https:\/\/www.highspeedtraining.co.uk\/hub\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/consent-3.jpg\")
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\n\n\n\nWhy Do Conversations About Consent Matter?\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Father](\"https:\/\/www.highspeedtraining.co.uk\/hub\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/consent-1.jpg\")
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<\/div>Looking for More?<\/h3><\/div><\/div>
\n\n\n\nHow to Talk About Consent<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n Clearly Define Consent
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\n <\/h3>\n \n Challenge Myths
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\n Explain the Law
\n <\/h3>\n \n Sex without consent is rape. Rape is a crime.
\n <\/h3>\n \n Give them Practical Tools
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\n Encourage Open Conversations
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\n\n\n\nFurther Resources:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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